The new Netflix series Adolescence has got a lot of people talking - and for good reason. The show follows the tragic story of 13-year-old Jamie Miller, who is arrested for the murder of his classmate, Katie Leonard. But rather than focusing purely on the crime, Adolescence takes a deeper look at the pressures, emotions, and social influences that shape teenage behaviour.
It highlights issues like toxic masculinity, the impact of social media, and the difficulty young people face in expressing emotions in a world that often discourages vulnerability. While the story is extreme, many of the underlying struggles will feel familiar to anyone who has worked with teenagers - or been one.
The Pressure to Fit In
One of the most striking things about Adolescence is how much Jamie’s sense of self is shaped by his environment. The need to belong is a fundamental human experience, but for teenagers, it can become overwhelming. They are constantly absorbing unspoken rules about how they should think, behave, and present themselves - especially online.
Social media plays a huge role in this. It’s not just about being seen but being seen in the ‘right’ way. Many teenagers feel an intense pressure to fit into a certain image, whether that’s being ‘strong’ and unemotional or constantly seeking approval from peers. And when this pressure builds without an outlet for real self-expression, it can lead to destructive choices.
The Impact of Suppressed Emotions
Throughout the series, Jamie struggles to deal with his emotions in a healthy way. Like many young people, he’s never really been taught how to acknowledge difficult feelings without letting them take over. Instead, he pushes them down, distracting himself with the validation and influence of others.
When emotions aren’t given space to be processed, they don’t just disappear. They find their way out in other ways - anger, impulsivity, or shutting down completely. This isn’t just true for teenagers; so many of us have been conditioned to avoid uncomfortable emotions rather than learning to sit with them. The reality is, feelings don’t have to be ‘solved’ - but they do need to be acknowledged.
Who Are You Outside of Other People’s Opinions?
Another theme Adolescence explores is how much we define ourselves by external influences. Jamie, like many young people, is constantly looking for cues about who he is and how he should act. But when identity is shaped entirely by outside pressures, it becomes incredibly fragile.
At any age, it’s important to ask: Who am I when I’m not trying to be who others expect me to be? What do I actually care about? What kind of person do I want to be? These aren’t easy questions, but they’re the ones that help us build a sense of self that isn’t entirely dictated by what’s trending online or what will gain approval.
The Role of Parents: Presence Over Perfection
One of the most important takeaways from Adolescence is how much teenagers need emotionally available parents or caregivers. The series highlights what can happen when young people feel unseen, unheard, or left to navigate their struggles alone. It’s easy to assume that teenagers want independence, and to some extent they do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need guidance and connection.
Being present doesn’t mean having all the answers. It’s not about lecturing or trying to fix everything. What really matters is creating an environment where a young person feels safe enough to open up. This can be as simple as checking in regularly, really listening without rushing to offer solutions, and validating their emotions rather than dismissing them as ‘just a phase.’
Social Media: The Unseen Influence
The series also raises important questions about social media and how much it shapes young people’s thoughts, emotions, and sense of self. What they see online influences how they measure their worth, how they interact with others, and even how they express their emotions. When left unchecked, social media can become a space where unrealistic standards, peer pressure, and harmful messaging go unnoticed until it’s too late.
This doesn’t mean cutting teenagers off from social media entirely, it’s a huge part of their world. But it does mean being aware of what they’re engaging with. Conversations about social media should be open, not accusatory. Encouraging critical thinking about what they consume online, setting healthy boundaries, and ensuring that screen time doesn’t replace real-life conversations are all ways parents can help balance its impact.
What Can We Take Away from This?
Adolescence can be difficult to watch at times, but it sheds light on struggles that often go unnoticed until it’s too late. It serves as a powerful reminder that young people need space to talk about their emotions without fear of judgment, and that they require guidance - not just in how to fit in socially, but in how to truly understand themselves.
The series also challenges us to reflect on how we handle our own emotions. Are we suppressing them? Are we seeking external validation instead of tuning into what really matters to us? While the show focuses on a teenager, the themes explored are relevant to people of all ages.
For anyone supporting young people, whether as a parent, teacher, or therapist, Adolescence reinforces an essential truth: listening, without judgment or rushing to offer solutions, is one of the most powerful tools we have.
It reminds us that young people don’t just need rules or discipline; they need understanding, emotional availability, and space to express themselves. If there’s one thing to take away from the series, it’s that being present matters.
Your willingness to listen, check in, and create space for open conversations can make all the difference.