If you’ve ever been told to “just calm down” or “stop overthinking,” you’ll know how frustrating – and isolating – that can feel. It implies that you’re making a fuss over nothing. That if you just tried a bit harder, you could switch it off.
But anxiety isn’t a weakness. And it’s certainly not just in your head.
This month is Mental Health Awareness Month, which makes it a good time to have some honest conversations about what anxiety really is – and why understanding it can help you stop blaming yourself for how you feel.
What Anxiety Actually Is
Anxiety is your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe. It's part of your internal alarm system – designed to protect you from harm. But sometimes, that system becomes a little overactive.
When your brain senses a potential threat (even if it’s something like public speaking or being left on “read”), it sends signals to your body to get ready – fast. Your heart rate increases, your breathing gets faster, your muscles tense. This is known as the fight-or-flight response, and it’s controlled by a small part of the brain called the amygdala.
The problem is, your brain doesn’t always get it right. It can’t always tell the difference between real danger and something that just feels uncomfortable.
So even when you know logically that there’s nothing to panic about, your body might still be responding as if there is.
And that doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your system is working – it’s just on high alert.
It Doesn’t Just Live in Your Mind – It’s a Full-Body Experience
Many people think of anxiety as just “worrying too much.” But if you’ve experienced it, you’ll know it’s not just thoughts – it’s physical, too.
You might feel:
- A racing heart
- Tight chest
- Sweaty palms
- Nausea
- Dizziness
- Muscle tension
- A sense of detachment or panic
These are very real bodily reactions, triggered by your nervous system. You’re not imagining them. You’re not being dramatic. Your body is simply reacting to a perceived threat – even if that threat is being judged, rejected, or getting something wrong.
And once you understand why your body does this, it becomes a little easier to stop fearing the sensations themselves.
Why Understanding Anxiety Helps Reduce Shame
One of the things I hear a lot in therapy is:
“I feel silly for struggling with this.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“I should be able to handle it.”
Let’s be clear: you’re not weak, overreacting, or failing. You’re human.
Anxiety affects people from all walks of life – high achievers, parents, introverts, extroverts, students, professionals. It doesn’t discriminate. And looking like you’re “coping” on the outside doesn’t cancel out the inner turmoil you might be feeling.
When you understand what’s really happening – both in your brain and your body – it can ease some of that self-judgement. You can start to view your anxiety not as a character flaw, but as something that makes sense given what you’ve been through and how you’ve learned to cope.
That shift in perspective alone can be powerful.
You Don’t Need to Suffer in Silence
You don’t have to wait for things to get unbearable before asking for help.
Therapy isn’t just for crisis moments. It’s a place to untangle your thoughts, explore what’s going on underneath the surface, and learn practical tools to manage what you’re feeling.
You don’t have to know exactly what you need before reaching out. In fact, many people start therapy because they don’t know – they just know they’re tired of feeling like this.
Small steps count. Whether that’s reading this blog, talking to a friend, or booking a call with a therapist – it all matters.
A Warm Word to End On…
If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but the more you understand it, the more power you have to respond to it differently. That doesn’t mean it disappears overnight – but it does mean it stops feeling like something you have to hide, suppress, or fight alone.
If you’re ready to get support with your anxiety, I offer a free 15-minute call to talk through how I might be able to help. No pressure, no expectations – just a conversation. Click the link below to book yours now.
Because your mental health matters. And you deserve to feel more in control, more connected, and more understood.