There’s this unspoken expectation that summer should feel uplifting. Easy. A time for relaxing outside, wearing less, and maybe even feeling more carefree. But if you're struggling with how you feel about your body, summer can bring with it a quiet heaviness - a feeling of being exposed, scrutinised, or just not quite enough.
Maybe it starts when getting dressed feels like a choice between discomfort and exposure, and neither option feels okay. You notice others confidently walking by in shorts, vests, or swimwear and immediately feel a rush of shame, comparison, or a need to hide. It’s like your inner critic turns up the volume every time the temperature rises.
Summer often comes with these quiet expectations - that you’ll feel relaxed, spontaneous, vibrant. But instead, you might find yourself exhausted just trying to figure out what to wear - something that hides enough, but doesn’t make you overheat. And then, there’s the anxiety that comes with seeing others at ease in their bodies, while you’re quietly wrestling with yours.
Social media doesn’t help. You scroll through endless images of sun-kissed skin, sculpted bodies, and effortless smiles. Part of you knows it’s not real, but it still chips away at your confidence. Especially when you’re trying to feel good in your own skin, and every post feels like a quiet reminder that you're somehow falling short.
You might start avoiding things that used to bring joy. Maybe you turn down a beach trip because the idea of swimwear fills you with panic.
Or you cancel a summer BBQ where everyone’s in shorts and strappy tops, not because you don’t want to go, but because the idea of showing more skin than you’re comfortable with feels overwhelming.
It’s not about being antisocial, it’s about trying to protect yourself from shame.
Even when you say yes and go out, it can feel like you're split in two. On the surface, you're chatting, laughing, showing up. But underneath, you're constantly checking - how you’re sitting, how your clothes are falling, whether anyone noticed you tugging at your top. It’s mentally exhausting. You go home not just physically tired, but emotionally drained.
What makes this harder is how invisible it often is. Most people around you probably have no idea what you’re dealing with. Maybe you've never even said it out loud. The silent pressure to keep it together, to appear confident and composed, only adds to the weight. You wonder if you’re the only one who feels this way.
But you’re not. These feelings are more common than you might think, especially in a world that equates worth with appearance. If you’ve ever been praised for looking smaller or slimmer, it reinforces the idea that being less is being better. If you’ve internalised that your body needs to be fixed before you’re allowed happiness, belonging, or peace of mind, it makes perfect sense that summer feels like a test you didn’t prepare for.
So, what if this summer, the goal wasn’t to change your body, but to soften your expectations of yourself? What if it was about creating moments of comfort, not perfection? About choosing clothes based on how they feel, not how they look? About stepping into the light, not because you feel confident, but because you're tired of hiding?
Maybe it’s wearing the slightly-too-short dress because you love the colour, even if it shows your thighs. Or sitting outside with your arms bare, feeling the sun on your skin instead of the fear in your mind. Or allowing yourself to be in photos, not to document perfection, but to remember the special moments.
It’s not easy. There’s no instant shift, no single moment where everything clicks into place. But there are quiet, powerful choices that begin to reshape your days. Like putting on something comfortable without second-guessing yourself. Saying yes to meeting a friend without planning your outfit for hours. Taking a second to just be, without trying to fix anything.
These aren’t grand gestures, they’re small, steady acts of rebellion against everything that told you your body needed to change before you could feel okay.
The life you’re longing for isn’t as far away as it might seem. It’s in the tiny details of your day - getting up and actually looking forward to your morning, reaching for clothes that feel like you, being able to eat lunch without guilt. It’s choosing to rest without apologising, to move your body because it feels good, not because you’re trying to fix it.
It’s walking into a room and not shrinking. It’s hearing a compliment and believing it, even just a little. It’s feeling a bit more like yourself again - softer, steadier, more comfortable in your own skin.
You don’t need to be fearless to begin. You don’t need to have it all figured out. Just a small step, one that makes space for something new.
If this speaks to where you are right now, take a breath, and maybe take one gentle action today that’s just for you. Whether it’s wearing what you really want, resting when you need to, or letting yourself off the hook for something small - it all counts. And you’re allowed it.