There’s a particular kind of heaviness that comes with not knowing what’s next. You might find yourself lying awake at 3am, mentally cycling through every possible scenario. Or standing at the kitchen sink, staring into the silence, wishing someone would just tell you what to do. When life feels uncertain, anxiety tends to creep in quietly - not always with panic, but with that constant, background hum of “What if?”
It can show up in so many ways. Overthinking small decisions. Feeling stuck between options. A strong urge to control every part of your day - or the opposite: shutting down entirely, avoiding anything that might move you forward. This isn’t just in your head. Your nervous system is trying to protect you. When the future feels unpredictable, your brain starts preparing for danger - even if that danger is just… the unknown.
Why Uncertainty Feels So Overwhelming
Uncertainty removes the illusion of control. For people who live with anxiety, this can be especially destabilising. You might feel like you need to have a plan. To know what’s coming next. To prepare for every possible outcome. But when life won’t give you those answers, your mind does what it knows best - it tries to think its way into safety.
Cue the spiral:
• “What if I make the wrong decision?”
• “What if I’m not doing enough?”
• “What if I miss my chance and regret it later?”
But what if the goal isn’t to find perfect certainty? What if the real work is learning how to live inside the not knowing - without losing yourself in the process?
The Nervous System's Response to Change
When life feels uncertain, your body feels it too. You might notice:
- A tightness in your chest when you check your emails
- A sinking feeling when your plans change last minute
- A sense of agitation when there’s “too much space” in your day
This is your nervous system signalling a perceived threat. Even if nothing “bad” is happening, the unknown is enough to send your system into high alert. That’s why even minor disruptions - like a cancelled plan or an unanswered message - can feel emotionally loaded.
You might not be able to change the uncertainty around you. But you can change the way you respond to it - starting with how you speak to yourself.
Gentle Mindset Shifts That Help
Instead of asking, “How can I get rid of this feeling?” try asking:
- “What part of me is seeking reassurance right now?”
- “What would feel just safe enough for today?”
- “Can I soften around this discomfort, even a little?”
It’s not about positive thinking. It’s about compassionate relating. The more you try to control your anxiety, the more it tightens. But when you approach it with kindness - when you let yourself be in the unknown, even briefly - something shifts. The fear doesn’t vanish, but it loosens its grip.
Practical Tools to Anchor You
Here are a few small ways to stay grounded when everything feels up in the air:
🟢 Use the ‘3-Breath Reset’ – Inhale deeply, exhale slowly. Repeat twice more. This gives your body a moment of pause - a reset point when everything feels too fast.
🟢 Name what’s true right now – Out loud or in writing. “I’m safe in this moment. I’m not alone. I don’t have to figure everything out today.”
🟢 Move your body, even gently – A stretch, a walk around the block, or even standing at the window with your feet planted. Movement helps regulate your nervous system.
🟢 Notice what is stable – Your morning routine. Your favourite mug. A song you always come back to. These small anchors help you feel more rooted.
🟢 Come back to your values – When the future feels unclear, ask: “What matters to me today?” That one question can offer more clarity than a five-year plan.
The Quiet Power of Presence
You don’t have to have it all figured out. In fact, most people don’t. What we’re really craving in uncertain times isn’t answers, it’s safety. And safety doesn’t come from a perfect plan. It comes from how we meet ourselves in the mess.
You might not be able to change what’s happening around you. But you can sit with yourself in the storm. You can light a candle. Wrap your hands around a warm cup of tea. Breathe into your belly. And whisper, “I don’t know what’s next - but I’m still here.”
That’s enough to begin again.
👉 If you're ready for more grounded support this month, check out my free resource or book your free call today.